hhahas ;D im into blogging ;D this is my 3rd post of the day =/ i had
nothing to do, so very sian. i want to maple but cant, as i park my
character at el nath for the long to service my acc tmr =/ . once i
get my zakum helmet(1) i wont blog so much le.. ill be into maple! ;D
jy long a.k.a dragon1988 to help me get my zak helm. ;D
let me share some jokes ba. no offence but and a little obscene, but
it is funny if u understand it.
Joke 1 - Apple Tree
One day there was a girl and some boys beside an apple tree. then, the boys ask the girl to climb the apple tree to pick some apples for them... actually the boys want to see her underwear.. Then, the girl's mother saw... after went back home.. her mother told her not to climb coz the boys' intention is to see her underwear.. Then... a few day later... the boys met the girl again.the boys ask her to go pick some apples again... this time her mother saw it again... then. after the boys left. her mom tell her.. how many times should i tell you!! they want to see your underwear why dun you listen to me? ... but the girl reply... mom, this time I'm cleverer... i never wear underwear.
Enjoy.
Joke 2 - Hell
HellOne day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he's wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with a demon... Demon: Why so glum? Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell! Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. Are you a drinking man?Guy: Sure, I love to drink.Demon: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab and Fresca... we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!Guy: Gee that sounds great!Demon: You a smoker?Guy: You know it!Demon: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie- you're already dead, remember?Guy: Wow...that's...awesome!Demon: I bet you like to gamble.Guy: Why, yes I do.Demon: Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever... If you go Bankrupt...well, you're dead anyhow.Demon: You into drugs?Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean?... Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want; you're dead who cares! O.D.!!Guy: WOW !! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!! Demon: You gay?Guy: No....Demon: "Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays."
Joke 3 - The Tent
Old joke, but..Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend."Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars.""What does that tell you?" says Holmes.Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you Holmes?"Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Some one has stolen our tent!!"
Joke 4 - The Power Of Subjective Interpretation - The Pope and the Sikh
About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Sikhs had to leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Sikh community.So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Sikh community. If the Sikh won, the Sikhs could stay. If the Pope won, the Sikhs would leave.The Sikhs realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle aged man named Santa Singh to represent them. Santa Singh asked for one addition to the debate. To make it more interesting, neither side would be allowed to talk. The Pope agreed.The day of the great debate came. Santa Singh & the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand & showed three fingers. Santa Singh looked back at him & raised one finger.The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Santa Singh pointed to the ground where he sat.The Pope pulled out a wafer & a glass of wine. Santa Singh pulled out an apple.The Pope stood up & said I give up. This man is too good. The Sikhs can stay.An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what had happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground & showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine & wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"Meanwhile, the Sikh community had crowded around Santa Singh. "What happened?" they asked. "Well," said Santa Singh, "First he said to me that the Sikhs had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Sikhs. I pointed down to let him know that we were staying right here in this land.""Yes, yes & then???" asked the crowd."I don't know", said Santa Singh, "He took out his lunch & I took out mine."HA! HA! HA!
Joke 5 - Never insult anyone
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LAwhen the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese areyou?"The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what youmean."The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"Again, the Japanese was confused over he question.The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you.....Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!, etc......???"The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked What kindof'key' was he.The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee'amI ?!"The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"*LESSON III - NEVER INSULT ANYONE.*
Enjoy.
